


day 365 of 365

by JAJAngmyeon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Constipation, M/M, New Year angst, based on that mbc gayo video, too late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 11:32:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18365153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAJAngmyeon/pseuds/JAJAngmyeon
Summary: In which Jihoon finally gained the courage to get rid of his emotional constipation but Soonyoung is tired and finally decided to let him go.





	day 365 of 365

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this drabble on new year’s eve lol. that video is really...aaaaaaa anw, enjoy~ cross-posted on twt uwu

It’s the 365th day of the year when Jihoon finally realizes his feelings for Soonyoung.

It’s the 365th day since the latter confessed to him discreetly on that year end music festival.

And on this same event, on the 365th day of the year, he decided that he’ll get rid of this emotional constipation and tell Soonyoung how much he means to him.

He waited patiently, feeling giddy all day.

Despite being nervous, he still managed to hit that high note in that BooSeokSoon song they all agreed to perform as a whole for this year’s Gayo Daechukje.

A few more hours, and it’s already the closing performance. Artists are gathered in one stage.

He roamed his eyes and spotted the boy he’s looking for. He’s standing there, a few steps away from him, happily waving to their fans.

He stared at the man he took so long to admit his feelings to. The man who patiently pursued him and the constant source of his happiness.

Today’s the day, Lee Jihoon.

Today’s the day, he’ll finally get rid of this damn emotional constipation.

He slowly walked towards Soonyoung. Every step, he can feel his heart drumming inside his chest.

“Soonyoung.”

The boy just looked at him, his expression unreadable.

“I-I have something to tell you.”

  
Jihoon couldn’t tell what’s on the other guy’s mind right now. When Soonyoung didnt reply, he decided to continue what he’s going to say.

  
“Soonyoung, I...”

  
“Jihoon, please listen to me first,” the older boy cut him off before he can say anything.

Soonyoung heaved a deep sigh, eyes glassy.

“Lee Jihoon, I’m letting you go.”

Jihoon swears he heard his heart broke into tiny pieces as his mind tried to process what the other just said. He chewed on his inner cheek, not really knowing what to do or what to say. All those words he prepared to say in front of the guy he likes are all swallowed back.

His mind can’t think of anything to say but a weak “Why?”

Soonyoung averted his gaze and looked down not meeting Jihoon’s eyes.

“One year is already a long time for running without even seeing a glimpse of the finish line, Jihoon. I’m...tired.”

That’s when flashbacks of all the efforts Soonyoung did for Jihoon came playing like old tapes. All those iced americano with sticky notes, all those extra rice Soonyoung ordered for him.

All those nights the performamce team leader stayed up late at night just because he does not want Jihoon to be alone at his studio.

All those silly jokes just to make him laugh.

All those efforts to show him how much Soonyoung likes him.

Jihoon felt a sudden pang on his chest. It’s all his fault. His and this fucking emotional constipation’s fault.

“You know how much I like you, Ji and if your happiness is you without me, I’d gladly give it to you.”

Soonyoung forced one last smile. Jihoon’s tongue can’t seem to find the right words to say. His lips is still shut until the other started walking away from him.

Lee Jihoon has so much more to say. If only he has the courage to grab Soonyoung’s wrist and tell him not to let go.

If only he can shout to all the other people in that event how much he likes Kwon Soonyoung, Seventeen’s performance team leader, Hoshi, who has the smallest eyes but the biggest heart.

If only he can make things right...

But Lee Jihoon is Lee Jihoon.

“If only” stays as “if only”. He didn’t move an inch. Instead, he just watched Soonyoung’s back walk farther away from him.

He deserved this, he thought. He doesn’t deserve someone as good as Soonyoung.

That’s when the people around him started counting down to welcome the new year.

“5.”

“4.”

“3.”

“2.”

“1.”

Just when the fireworks appeared on the sky, and all the people around him are busy greeting each other a happy new year, he glanced one last time to the man he likes.

“I love you...”

No one heard him.

It’s the 365th day of the year when Jihoon finally realizes his feelings for Soonyoung.

It’s on the same 365th day of the year when Jihoon had his heart broken.

**Author's Note:**

> idk if you’ll be able to recognize me after reading this...if yes, well...yeah, we are one :)


End file.
